My sentiments exactly...

Doing what you love

I remember the first time I sang in front of an audience.  I was about 10, and it was for my dad's Full Gospel Businessmen's Meeting.  I sang a song my mom helped me pick out, a religious ditty called "Hearts Courageous", and subsequent church performances followed in the years to come.  But as I entered my high school years, whenever my mom would tell me I should perform again, I would brush her off.  Although I was in choir and never stopped singing ( I had several solos and duets in high school musicals and choir concerts), I didn't really have confidence in myself.  And once I became a wife and mom, singing became reserved for mainly for car rides and tucking Ethan to bed.  But even still, every once in a while, Mom would say, "Sarah, you really should start singing again....."

I met Takuya at a picnic of a mutual friend.  He started playing a song from the movie "Once" on the guitar, and I chimed in (I can't help it, I gotta sing harmony).  We discovered that we both like the same kind of music, and our friendship grew from there.  We started exchanging songs from bands we liked, and then we started singing them together.  Our friends encouraged us to perform in venues, and our first "performance" was about two months ago at a small bar with a few of our friends.  Yesterday, we performed at TK6, a popular foreigner bar in the Susukino area of Sapporo.  Honestly, we didn't know what to expect; I'd only been there two times before, and wasn't sure if the crowd would even like our romantic, moody music (we seem to be drawn to those sad love songs).  

We had one microphone, no mic stands, no amp for the guitar, so I guess you could say we were a little unprepared.  We decided to play upstairs for a more intimate feel, and so our friends who came could listen best, but it turned out that there was a rather large, noisy crowd of men taking up most of the space.  But we played through, singing as loud as we could - I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.  But seeing all our friends there, listening and supporting us, made it all worth it for me.  At the end of the night, we were asked to sing there again some time, and we'll be sure to be more prepared!

But the crowds and attention is not what this is about for me.  Singing and practicing with Takuya these last few months has reignited my love of singing, and singing for my friends.  Sure I still have those insecurities I've battled with in the past - like my voice not being good enough - but I feel myself overcoming these thoughts.  In the end, it's about doing something you love, and that for me is singing. Sure, I'm not gonna become a professional any time soon, and we likely won't be signing any recording contracts, but having your friends tell you they want to hear you again is worth it all for me.  

So there you go, Mom.  I'm singing again.  Wish you could be here to see it.   

  

mt tape expo

I really wish I could go to the mt tape expo in Tokyo, going on now until November 18.  Washi tape is quite an obsession here in Japan, and after seeing these pictures, I can see why.

Source: hellosandwich.blogspot.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Source: hellosandwich.blogspot.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Source: hellosandwich.blogspot.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Amazing what you can do with tape!!

Style Crush: Annie Clark of St. Vincent

It happens every time.  There's always one or two albums I purchase every season that get almost non-stop play on my iPod.  In the summer it was Little Dragon, and for the fall, it's St. Vincent.

St. Vincent is the musical moniker of Annie Clark, who in the past has sung for the Polyphonic Spree (anybody remember them?) and Sufjan Stevens.  The girl can wail on the guitar, and her personal style is just as good as her musical abilities.

Source: madewell.tumblr.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Source: privatedub.com via Sarah on Pinterest

Source: skream.jp via Sarah on Pinterest

Love her mix of vintage and modern, not to mention that wild, curly hair.  If my hair was just a little more curly, I'd totally rock that.  And there's something very retro looking about her, especially in the second photo, which I like as well.  And you can never go wrong with red lipstick!

Transient

When I was accepted to teach in Japan over a year ago, Nathan and I had planned to stay here for only a year, maybe two, if things went really well.  And now, I'm halfway through my second year in Sapporo, and it's time to start thinking about whether we'll stay for a third year.

To tell the truth, we probably will.  I just can't imagine leaving here yet; Ethan's excelling at school (and actually enjoying math, can you believe it?), Nate has a great job, and I love teaching at Keihoku.  While I've been here, I've rediscovered my love of singing, met some amazing friends, and made some wonderful memories.  I'm just not ready to go.   I'm comfortable here, and we've all created niches for ourselves.  Ethan has guitar classes, and I go to dance class.  Nathan runs everyday.  We have our regular hang-out spots, and restaurants in the neighborhood know our names and what food we're going to order. What was once so foreign and unfamiliar, is now just a regular part of our lives.  

And  yet, I know that one day this will all end, and we'll have to go back to America.  Not that that's a bad thing - my family is there, and I miss them terribly.  But after one and a half years, this place has become our home.  We've grown roots here, however shallow.  It'll be hard to leave Sapporo - to say goodbye to all our friends which have really become like a second family.  The hardest thing is realizing that some of them I'll never see again once I step back on that airplane.

What will it be like when we go back to America?  Have I changed?  Will we gain all the weight back we've lost since moving here? (Thanks to bike riding and healthy Japanese eating!)  Will I be able to find a job?

It's just hard to think that this is all temporary.  That I'm just a transient, passing through for a brief moment.

All good things must come to an end at some point, I suppose.  And what a good thing this has been!

The Forever Student

I've always enjoy learning, and being taught.  If it were possible, I could've been a student forever.  I really love sitting in a classroom, taking notes and listening to a lecture, I guess it's no surprise that I became a teacher.  But there's quite a difference between being a student and being a teacher, and in my  7 (!) years of teaching, I've really missed studying something new (although, I suppose teachers should always be learning and growing, shouldn't we?).

So I was excited to start Japanese classes when I first arrived in Japan.  I was determined to learn Japanese, from the moment I got here.  I wanted to communicate and read - oh, you don't know how frustrating it is not to be able to read!  I had pretty much no prior experience with Japanese before I moved here, so my teacher started from the beginning - learning two of the Japanese alphabets, hiragana and katakana.  It took me what felt like forever to learn these, and then one day - poof - it just made sense.  That's how most of my Japanese language study has been.  I'll studying something for weeks and weeks, feeling like I'm just not getting it, and then all of a sudden, I've got it, and it seems so easy.  

I guess I've come quite far in my studies, even though I frequently tell myself that I'm not where I should be.  I definitely think I should study more, and now I have the perfect catalyst to do so.  I'm taking the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT) in December, so if ever I needed to cram, it's now.  I need to learn about 100 kanji, and I really need to brush up on my grammar (darn those Japanese particles!), but I think I'm well on my way.  

But what's really funny, is that since I've been learning Japanese, all my French vocabulary from so long ago keeps coming to mind.  Haha, I guess learning Japanese brings out the French in me.

So everyone, wish me "Bonne Chance".....oops, I mean, "Ganbatte"!

I *heart* NY

Photo source

Sometimes I miss New York.