Sunday, December 18, 2011

一期一会 (once in a lifetime chance)

As an actress, we were always taught to "live in the moment": to fully embody the present.  I mean, that's what actors do, to show something on stage as if it is happening for the first time.  However, this is a little harder for me to do in my personal life.  I'm either thinking about how I should have done something or what I'm going to do, and never truly appreciating what is going on at the present moment.

Case in point: Ethan is almost 13.  I think about this often, about how he is about to become a teenager, and how his voice is changing, and I'm not old enough to have a teenager, etc.  I'm so worried about what he might be, that I'm not appreciating what he is now - an awesome kid who still hugs me and tells me he loves me.

And just to brag a bit, Ethan was in his middle school drama class production of "A Christmas Carol".  He was young Scrooge.

My latest singing endeavors are another way I'm attempting to live in the moment.  For so long, I never thought I was good enough to sing for others, despite being told otherwise.  When I decided to let go of that fear, and do what I loved, it was like being set free!

Takuya and I had our third and (I think) best performance last night.  We sang in a cozy little cafe, with a few of friends, and some other customers.  For most of the time, I forgot about the crowd.  I was singing just to sing, and it was perfect.

I've come to treasure these moments I'm sharing with my family and friends, and not to look over them. And that's where my title comes in, 一期一会 (ichi go ichi e).  I learned this phrase last week from some of my students, and it couldn't have come at a better time.  It means, "once in a lifetime chance".  Isn't that such a perfectly simple little phrase?  We'll never have these moments again, each one is a gift.  I want to take advantage of each and every one.   

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